Or better known as, ”Getting Your Shit Together.”

So, what’s all this I’m talking about and how does it relate to me?  Well, the house was a wreck.  Stuff everywhere.  A living room full of unfolded clean laundry gathering dust (literally - it was six months of unfolded clothes and linens - I love using my new washer and dryer, but hate folding clothes).  Important papers getting crumpled and wrinkled and lost while the UNimportant ones stood prominently about.  ”Surface dirty” turning to “deep cleaning required” as the clutter prevented me from dusting, wiping, and vacuuming.  Ugh.  Just…ugh.  To add insult to injury?  I’m a stay at home mom with seven hours of alone time a day to get all of this taken care of.  And I don’t even grocery shop!  The Man loves doing that!

“What’s wrong with me?” constantly ringing through my head.

This transition from being a strongly independent single mom, working an office job that I absolutely adored, to getting married, becoming a stay at home mom of “twins” in a new, drastically different town (think Alaska to Texas different)…well, it wasn’t the easiest and for a period of time I was back on anti-depressants.  Obviously, that was a huge change and now that I was at home, the kids were in school, and the husband at work, I knew I didn’t want to be a maid (housekeepers have a different, more positive emotional meaning to me before you jump all over me), but didn’t know how to clean and set up a new home without feeling like one.  And being so used to doing it all on my own, I didn’t know how to ask for help.  At least not in a way that would motivate and truly help.  Anyway, it took a while, but I figured it out.

I’d done the Fly Lady program years ago, right after J had been born, and it had a huge impact on me.  It truly changed the way I had looked at cleaning.  I had a negative emotional reaction to cleaning when I first started with the program and after the first couple of days, that feeling was gone and it has never returned.  Cleaning went from a dreaded event that nearly led to tears to a game that left me feeling like I had won every time.  It’s just that, well…we get bored of the same old game after a while, right?  And winning every time, well, we start to take it for granted.  And then, when we’re talking about the cleaning game, habitual slacking leads to a landslide of catchup.

But now, at this point in my life, it’s not about cleaning.  It’s about having a “Home Sanctuary.”  It’s about creating that space for our family that we’re all proud of.  And, yes, I want my husband to think I’m a wonderful homemaker.  And I want to avoid that feeling of “not earning my keep.”  My husband laughs and rolls his eyes nervously whenever I say that and we both know that’s not the way it is, but because I take this job seriously, it’s important for me to feel like my time here is spent well and not better spent working outside the home.  Further, when the house is a wreck, it’s hard for me to feel like I have the time to devote to helping the kids with school work or art projects, which is, clearly, detrimental to their development, as well.  I already know that I can rock the job scene, but what about home?

I had to do something to make myself happy with the home situation, as well as my family.  I was finding it hard to get motivated to go back to the “shine your sink” methodical routine of Fly Lady.  I still love her, but felt the need to graduate from “Fly Baby” status and look for a more grown up approach.  Something that would make me really proud of myself.  Developing my own plan would make me really proud of myself and lead to me wanting to keep up with my goals.  I started by opening up my computer calendar program and made a schedule that encompassed every single minute of my day.  I’ve heard that a lot of people do this, so I gave it a shot.  That didn’t work.  At all.  I clearly need a more flexible approach because that method led to me feeling trapped.  I sat there and thought about the things that needed to be done.  I wrote them all down in my text editor.  Then, I cut and pasted everything that fell into routine “chores” (I hate that word) into one column.  Everything else, the larger tasks, stayed in the other column.  After quite a bit of thinking, I finally settled on organizing these tasks by room instead of by type.  One room at a time instead of making one big sweep through the house.  For example, every Monday, I tackle the front of the house.  The den and attached dining room, my blue room (second living room that was previously full of clean laundry), and the hallway.  And because even that can sound more daunting than it is, I broke it down into only the absolutely necessary tasks in the order they should be done.  Decluttering, dusting, vacuuming, windows, and airing out.  Those are the basics for most rooms.  I added clean the chairs to the dining room because, well, we have two six year olds and ivory microfiber dining room chair seats.  I added water plants to the blue room because they typically only need watering once a week.  So, all this on Monday, but when you break it down on paper so it looks like this (above).

It all looks a little more do-able, doesn’t it?  And because I scheduled only every other day, anything that doesn’t get done on the scheduled day, can be completed on the next day.  Also, because I really like pretty things, this had to be pretty.  If I didn’t enjoy looking at this, I knew I simply wouldn’t.  There are so many colors and fonts to choose from - one can really make a fun looking spreadsheet.  You can even add a muted background image or print it out on pretty paper.  I know, I know, but hey, whatever it takes!  Anyway, I’ve saved it as an Excel workbook for download below.  Check it out!  It’s a work in progress, but I have the weekly task list that you see above, as well as pantry inventory, a master to do list, and menu planning page.  Hopefully, it’ll be useful for you.  Remember, it’s a work in progress, and nowhere near finished.  As I refine my methods, the workbook will grow.  

Household Management Excel Workbook

Time and home management for stay at home moms.  I knew instinctually that it was important, but getting my head wrapped around it wasn’t the easiest thing.  Now, I end my day feeling happy and relaxed as I hop into bed, not feeling heavy, beaten down, and then not wanting to get out of bed in the morning.  I’m sleeping better (quality!) and getting up easier.  They boys are happy because I’m more likely to make a decent breakfast for them as opposed to their usual quick pour cereal.  Maybe I’ll even work up to making The Man breakfast in the morning.  Ehhh…we’ll see.  Maybe if he starts getting up a little earlier.  ;)